Running a 6,000-acre farming operation is a challenge. Learning overnight that it’s yours to run with no access to the previous manager — that’s overwhelming.
Pribyl Hay & Straw, based near Hazel in northwestern Minnesota, started small in 1992, with Mike Pribyl and his sons Troy and Tom buying baled hay, then selling and hauling it to customers. Soon they were renting hay acres and baling and marketing it themselves. Running more acres and rotating from alfalfa to other crops added wheat and straw, corn and soybeans.
Different plan
Cayla Blackburn, Troy Pribyl’s daughter, says farming was not her life’s goal. “I grew up on a tractor. Our whole family was always in the field working together.” While it was a rewarding childhood, she says, “It was not my dream job. I’m not afraid of hard work, but I always saw the struggles and long hours. I wanted to explore other opportunities, but if I have learned anything, it’s that life usually has a different plan.”
After earning business management and teaching degrees, she set out on a career path that has included working in and managing a salon, working at a bank and substitute teaching.
As the Pribyls expanded their operation, older brother Troy took the lead on crop management decisions, determining workflow and scheduling and working with customers and suppliers.
That balance was destroyed in an instant in early March 2016, when the family learned Troy had died by suicide. He was 44 years old.
“We looked at each other and asked, ‘Do we want to keep the farm going?’ We agreed that we did,” says Blackburn. “So I said, ‘OK, I’ll take the paperwork. Mike and Tom, you figure out what we’re for planting and all that.’ And we just did it.”
Focus on farm succession planning
As the family members coped with grief, they were also forced to take over the tasks Troy had always handled, from answering customer questions to ordering inputs and paying bills.
“The paperwork was a painful mess,” says Blackburn. “There was land and equipment in my dad’s name and not under the farm. And there was no will.”
Straightening out all the details took about three years, she says, and the tax implications are just now coming to a close.
“No one teaches you this kind of stuff. Now I’m the one saying, ‘This has got to be done right, because we’re not doing this again.’”
The farm was changed from a general partnership to a limited liability company with all assets in the farm’s name. “That way, if someone passes away or doesn’t want to farm anymore, it’s a lot simpler to sell things or make changes,” says Pribyl. “It’s more fair to everyone involved and there’s less confusion.
“It’s also important to have a will,” he adds. “Nobody wants to talk about that, but it needs to be done because it’s hard to grieve and handle [resolving legal issues] at the same time.”
Finding help
Blackburn and Pribyl say they were fortunate to find a law firm that understands agriculture and quickly learned their operation, and they relied on a longstanding relationship with the farm’s accountant. Other support came from the local Farm Service Agency team, crop insurance agents and their cooperative.
Because Troy had handled all the grain marketing and crop inputs, Blackburn and Pribyl turned to the CHS Northern Grain cooperative team to help with planning and advice.
“I was always the one out spreading fertilizer or making applications,” says Pribyl. “I never had to deal with deciding how much to put down or what types of fertilizer to use — Troy made all those decisions. The co-op agronomy team was good about helping with that.”
While Blackburn and Pribyl are quick to say the journey has not been easy, they have found a rhythm that allows both to use their skills while learning every day. Mike Pribyl still works on the farm and long-time employees have helped maintain operations.
“I let Tom do what he’s good at and he lets me do what I’m good at,” says Blackburn. “People give us a weird look when they learn we are an uncle and niece owning the operation, but we work well together.
“We couldn’t do it without Mike, Tom’s son, Carter, and our loyal employees,” she adds. “Some of them have been with us since I was little and they are like family. I also couldn’t do it without the support of my husband, Derek. Keeping this business going to support all our families is what’s most rewarding for me.”
Helping others
While they have learned to successfully take the farm reins in the eight years since Troy’s death, Blackburn says it’s still hard to slow down so others can learn how to step in if needed.
“With farming, everything is always in such a hurry,” says Blackburn. “You don’t really sit down to explain to someone else what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Even now, we should be teaching more than one person to do certain things, but we’re always battling weather and time.”
Blackburn and Pribyl want to fight the stigma of suicide.
“Farming is such a proud profession,” says Blackburn. “Asking for help is tough.” She volunteers with the HOPE Coalition, a group of individuals, businesses and agencies working together to end death by suicide in northwestern Minnesota. Free training programs offered by the coalition help identify warning signs so those in distress can find help.
“I’m part of the HOPE Coalition to use my dad’s story to encourage others to get help because he never asked for help,” says Blackburn. “He didn’t know how.”
Mental health resources
- HOPE Coalition
- CHS ag health and safety (resources are listed by state)
Need help?
If you or a family member or friend are in suicide crisis or emotional distress, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
The Minnesota Farm & Rural Helpline is a free, confidential service that offers 24/7 support for people struggling with stress, anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts. Contact the helpline by calling 833-600-2670, texting FARMSTRESS to 898211 or emailing farmstress@state.mn.us.
Minding rural mental health
The pressures of running a farm or ranch may feel overwhelming at times. Uncontrollable external factors like weather and markets, the complexities of working with family, working alone — all can take a toll on mental health.
“Farmers, especially men, are accustomed to solving problems on their own,” says ag mental health counselor and consultant Monica McConkey. “They are physically strong, they pull themselves up by their bootstraps — it’s been ingrained in them for many years, even generations. So for them to admit they are having difficulty managing stress, are anxious or feel depressed, that can be perceived as a sign of weakness or they may worry that talking about it will make it worse.
“But it’s no different than seeking help for a medical condition. At some point, we all need help. It’s important to recognize that it’s no sign of failure to reach out to talk to someone.”
Adding pressure on many older farmers or ranchers is the need to transition the operation to the next generation, she says. “For the older generation, those decisions can bring a sense of grief and loss. They may think, ‘Who will I be if I’m not farming anymore? What purpose will I have?’
“There’s so much fulfillment in agriculture,” says McConkey. “But is there enough stress to go around? Yes, absolutely.”
Steps toward help
McConkey offers suggestions for minding your mental health.
“If people around you are noticing things and stating concern, it’s important to hear that and take a look inside.” She suggests asking yourself these questions:
- Is my functioning being impacted?
- Am I on edge?
- Am I withdrawing from people?
- Am I drinking more?
- Is it hard for me to make decisions?
- Is it hard to get up in the morning?
“If you can’t get the unhelpful thoughts to stop and you’re not finding joy in life, it’s important to talk with someone,” she advises. If it’s too uncomfortable to seek out a mental health specialist, McConkey suggests reaching out to your doctor, pastor or priest, a trusted friend or a mentor. “Find someone who will hear you and can help you change your thinking patterns so you can cope in a positive way.”
Focus on the things you can control, she says. “Make a plan. List things that are going right. That helps keep your rational brain turned on versus letting your emotional brain take over and run amok.”
Spending time with positive people and maintaining your physical health are other helpful strategies, she adds.
If you are noticing signs of distress in a family member or friend, be that listening ear, encourages McConkey. “If you’re concerned about someone, let them know what you’re seeing and ask how you can help. It can be as simple as saying, ‘I’m worried about you and want to make sure you’re OK.’”
When pressures are great, it’s hard to maintain perspective, she acknowledges. “Our lives are bigger than the farm or ranch, even though it doesn’t always feel like it. The sooner you can identify that you’re struggling and reach out for help, the faster you’ll get back to a place where you’re feeling good and functioning the way you want to be.”
Check out the full Summer 2024 C magazine with this article and more.
Read more mental health stories:
